She has found somebody else

Q We have been dating for two years, and i really want to marry her. The problem is recently she came to me and said she has found another guy. She says she loves him. To make matters worse, she has started ignoring my calls and my messages and the last time i was at her place she threw a tantrum asking why i had not called to say that i am coming. But i have never called before! Why now?
Can it be true, has she really found someone else or she is just playing hard to get? What about me, can't she see that i honestly love her?
What should i do? Please advise me before i do something stupid.

A I have an answer for you, but first i wish you undersatnd this.
The worst place a woman might wish to be is an anxious place. Maybe to you these two years were filled with commitment and true love, but for her there were filled with anxiety and insecurity
"is this going to last?"  or
"does he really love me?"

From the threatening statement you made to me "before i do something stupid,"
Well... you never know, maybe you were like that to her... a little bit threatening at times. And maye that got her a little worried, to think after two years that you "will he really take care of me?"

I am not saying it is your bad all through out, what i mean is that it is the little things between the two that are creating this whole tantrum. Go to her, tell her you know you are not perfect, nobody is. But tell you love her still. If she cannot understand that then be a man and let her go. Two years is a long time to create a long lasting relationship, that is if the love was meant to be. Sometimes strength is expressed, not through the ability to hold on, but the ability to let go... forever.

I pray for the best.

He is too possessive!

Q I am a 23 year old college student and my boyfriend lives out of town. The problem is, he is too possessive. He won't allow me talking with other man on the phone or even on Facebook. Every time he calls, he demands to know where I have been, with whom and for how long. Last time, he wouldn't stop shouting over the phone when he had male voices in my room.
I love him and I have always been honest, but I don't think I can stand him any more. I feel like I am a chicken trapped in a cage. What should I do to make him understand? Should I face him directly and tell him he is being childish?

A I think go ahead, tell him how you feel BUT... don't tell him he is being childish.
Possessiveness is sometimes bad, but in your instance I think it is good. At least he shows he is in love with you. Only that it is resulting from his insecurity - fear of losing you (don't you think he has seen it happen? What about his past, doesn't it have a  heartbreak story?).
The best way to talk to him is to first tell him that you understand his fears, and assure him that long distance won't make you love him any less. Also tell him how much you need his trust now more than ever, because trust has some spiritual power in it, to keep people strong.

Wish you all the best

The Anatomy of Divorce: By Heidi Klum and Seal



How did Heidi and seal Divorce after 7 Years of Marriage?                                          
By Moffat Machingura
On May 10, 2005 in sunny Mexico the German fashion model Heidi and African American star, Seal Samuel exchanged vows, entered the marriage career meant to last for ever. We all celebrated, though deep inside we were afraid they would do it the Hollywood way... break up! But in the next 7 years, the couple proved us wrong; they proved opposites attract, celebrity love lasts, and models want to be mothers... (They had 3 Kids together, Heidi took Seal's surname - Samuel, Seal officially adopted Leni an she became Leni Samuel) till 2012 January 22.
But what changed between Heidi and Seal?
Rather, you should ask what never changed. Let's here it from Heidi and Seal themselves;

1. Heidi and Seal started Soul-Searching after the Wedding, not before.

They say,

"While we have enjoyed seven very loving, loyal and happy years of marriage, after much soul-searching we have decided to separate."
For others, this is normally due to infatuation - strong feelings that are regarded as love: *but for these two their case was different, their wedding was due to circumstance rather than infatuation.

  • Heidi was pregnant for Leni, the baby needed a father.
  • Seal was approaching late 40s, he had to start making life making sense.
  • Heidi was 32, out of the 20s and knowing she will never be a girl anymore.

If in their situation what would you have done? Would you have waited a little longer?
Maybe you would, but they didn't! 
As soon as it seemed like it was love, they skipped the soul searching stage and stepping into the wedding aisle, not knowing they were entering a heartbreak cafe.

2. Heidi and Klum think they grew apart, but actually they never met.

They say,
"We have had the deepest respect for one another throughout our relationship and continue to love each other very much, but we have grown apart."

Their differences were two fundamental to neglect.

  • Race: Interacial marriages work but they demand much effort.
  • Background: She is German, he was American. Background matters in love. 

 Full Words:

'While we have enjoyed seven very loving, loyal and happy years of marriage, after much soul-searching we have decided to separate.

'We have had the deepest respect for one another throughout our relationship and continue to love each other very much, but we have grown apart.

'This is an amicable process and protecting the well-being of our children remains our top priority, especially during this time of transition.

'We thank our family, friends, and fans for their kind words of support. And for our children’s sake, we appreciate you respecting our privacy.'

Hey You! Soap Opera you are 3rd

Blame 3 People for the Heart-Break Café (III)

               By Moffat Machingura

1. You lied. O yes you lied. You, Soap Opera and your friend Movie Thriller, you lied to the world.
You said to me “all you need is love.” But that is not true. Even if marriage is for love, two do not live as cheaply as one. More than love, we both will need money.

2. Soap lied. It is only in Soaps and thrillers, that people make love and not get pregnant. In life, even with protection, I have seen them multiply. I have seen them try to abort, and living with the guilt if they get successful. I have seen their lovers fail to trust them from the time that they kill; (PS:  hard to swallow.) “If you have killed an innocent foetus, what makes me trust you cannot kill me,” the man shouts back when the quarrel gets heated. (I am just telling what I have seen happen in life, but never sighted in a soap opera.)

So Soap Opera, I am saying you lied. I accepted your lies by then and thought they were true. But I saw you destroy my life, and many others around me.

Friends, listen to me. You have a chance to make the best of your life today, and you can do it. You may think I am boring, because I am speaking against how you feel, but it is good to listen to someone who has been there and done that, and has got the scars to prove. Fools learn from their mistakes, but wise people learn from other people’s mistakes. Do not let Cinema lure you into risks and sacrifices that you are going to regret. In love take it slow, because a heart-break is the easiest thing to find. A heart-break lives you heartless, with years you find it more and more difficult fall in love because your faller gets broken.

Be wise. Open your eyes, fools close their eyes in love – but love hurts the blind. Sex is not love. It is only in the Soaps and movies that they make love and not get pregnant. Every sacrifice has a reward, don’t sacrifice till it’s time. Love You.

And I love you too, Soapy.

Celebrity you’re 2nd

Let’s Blame 3 People for the Heart-Break Café (II) 

   By Moffat Machingura

Dear Celebrity. The day you made a big Cinema thriller, you appeared in every magazine and TV station – you did not mind the pictures. But the day you divorced, you crept behind your dark sunglasses and screamed “privacy.” (Like George Clooney after he divorced Isabella, 2011)  Above that you gave an awkward excuse, “it was not meant to be.” Mr. and Miss. Celebrity what do you mean “privacy”?

You shared your success keys, claiming you wanted to inspire the world into greatness. But today we can see you were simply being pompous. If it was for our greatness that you did not mind appearing in People, Hello and Newsweek in your success days, then today you still would not mind sharing with us how you failed in the most basic institute of life – love institute. Why did you work hard to make it in money and fame, but was so lazy to take love seriously? You thought it was a game and you made yourself a major player? Where you so foolish to realize we live once, play is for kids and you have got only one heart?

Friends, our famous fellow citizens owe us an explanation. They must stop screaming privacy or sounding pompous. They are busy hiding their weaknesses behind human rights. They are responsible for why Mom and Daddy always quarreled, why the one who takes away your virginity never marries you and if marriage happens, it will not be for long. It is these celebrities who make love a game, (marrying today but divorcing tomorrow) and make this a wild world, just by harboring their own weaknesses.

Dear Celebrity, you are not going to get away with this. A time will come, and now is that time, that for every heartbreak you cause and every divorce or domestic violence you incite, you will pay. You will pay to your partner and the state. Or you will have to stand up and tell the world the truth, tell them you are just a non-loving, self-centered creature in the limelight.

Friends, how many of you have ever been into a church and saw the podium from which pastors preach? Christians have a tendency of banning misconduct preachers off the podium. (They call it cleansing.)
Personally I think the time has come for this wide world to do the same if it is to demolish this Heartbreak Café forever. Let’s cleanse unworthy egoistic celebrities off our life pages. They are using us, playing and betraying us. We must show them who... But I love You Celebrity!!!

Grandma You Are 1st

Let’s Blame 3 People for the Heart-Break Café (I)

 by Moffat Machingura

With all due respect, Granny – your Cinderella bedtime story was not all true. You said she was a poor neglected girl who met a Prince Charming at a ballroom dance. You said they lived happily ever after.

 Yet Granny, you never said it that Princes are few in this world, and that Cinderellas are many.  Many Cinderrelas are waiting, but will they ever find? Grandma, tell the truth!

You never explained Prince Charming is a womanizer. He is a type of man who is always busy looking charming to all women around him. Though He be mine, he won’t be mine alone. If I find him, is it love or just another heartbreak café?

 And what if there is no fairy god-mother anywhere? (As it is) So the really pretty and descent women in town hardly make it to the ballroom. Is it not that the pretty manicured ladies (vice-full beauty fanatics as you called them) are busy looking good right now, just to take my Prince Charming away?

Finally Grandma, you said they lived happily ever after. But on my wedding morning, you said “happily ever after, is only found in fairy tales.” You said for love to work and last, we have to work hard and be patient. That is true, I learnt it in love that real love demands effort. But Granny, why did you not say so from the beginning? My best friend, Anna, walked out a few months back. She said it was not meant to be, she was not happy and she was tired of it. One more thing, she said it is not what she dreamt. The love she found is not the love she vowed for in her wedding gown.

Grandma, I know you are wise. I know you spoke of love so nicely because you know it is worth it. All I am saying is, you have much to explain. For every folktale, every love bruise and smile that you found and shared, grandma you have much to explain.

Escaping the Heart-Break Café


Today a heart-break is the easiest thing to find*, and divorce is just as American as the pie. You might find yourself sitting on any of these two someday, if not now. But the question is…why?

If our past is full of Romeos and Juliets, Antonys and Cleopatras; and princes and queens who lived and died for nothing except love, how has the world…once a love ocean…transformed into this desert of loneliness?

Three Main Culprits!

Granny, Cele’ and Soapy.

They thought they were bringing people closer, but they created fantasies, misconceptions continuously weakening us out of love. Together on Our Love Pages, we will explore their mistakes, and maybe even give them a chance to explain.

Read on…enjoy.


*50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end indivorce, 

  50% of all marriages in the America end in divorce.