Q We have been dating for two years, and i really want to marry her. The problem is recently she came to me and said she has found another guy. She says she loves him. To make matters worse, she has started ignoring my calls and my messages and the last time i was at her place she threw a tantrum asking why i had not called to say that i am coming. But i have never called before! Why now?
Can it be true, has she really found someone else or she is just playing hard to get? What about me, can't she see that i honestly love her?
What should i do? Please advise me before i do something stupid.
A I have an answer for you, but first i wish you undersatnd this.
The worst place a woman might wish to be is an anxious place. Maybe to you these two years were filled with commitment and true love, but for her there were filled with anxiety and insecurity
"is this going to last?" or
"does he really love me?"
From the threatening statement you made to me "before i do something stupid,"
Well... you never know, maybe you were like that to her... a little bit threatening at times. And maye that got her a little worried, to think after two years that you "will he really take care of me?"
I am not saying it is your bad all through out, what i mean is that it is the little things between the two that are creating this whole tantrum. Go to her, tell her you know you are not perfect, nobody is. But tell you love her still. If she cannot understand that then be a man and let her go. Two years is a long time to create a long lasting relationship, that is if the love was meant to be. Sometimes strength is expressed, not through the ability to hold on, but the ability to let go... forever.
I pray for the best.
He is too possessive!
Q I am a 23 year old college student and my boyfriend lives out of town. The problem is, he is too possessive. He won't allow me talking with other man on the phone or even on Facebook. Every time he calls, he demands to know where I have been, with whom and for how long. Last time, he wouldn't stop shouting over the phone when he had male voices in my room.
I love him and I have always been honest, but I don't think I can stand him any more. I feel like I am a chicken trapped in a cage. What should I do to make him understand? Should I face him directly and tell him he is being childish?
A I think go ahead, tell him how you feel BUT... don't tell him he is being childish.
Possessiveness is sometimes bad, but in your instance I think it is good. At least he shows he is in love with you. Only that it is resulting from his insecurity - fear of losing you (don't you think he has seen it happen? What about his past, doesn't it have a heartbreak story?).
The best way to talk to him is to first tell him that you understand his fears, and assure him that long distance won't make you love him any less. Also tell him how much you need his trust now more than ever, because trust has some spiritual power in it, to keep people strong.
Wish you all the best
I love him and I have always been honest, but I don't think I can stand him any more. I feel like I am a chicken trapped in a cage. What should I do to make him understand? Should I face him directly and tell him he is being childish?
A I think go ahead, tell him how you feel BUT... don't tell him he is being childish.
Possessiveness is sometimes bad, but in your instance I think it is good. At least he shows he is in love with you. Only that it is resulting from his insecurity - fear of losing you (don't you think he has seen it happen? What about his past, doesn't it have a heartbreak story?).
The best way to talk to him is to first tell him that you understand his fears, and assure him that long distance won't make you love him any less. Also tell him how much you need his trust now more than ever, because trust has some spiritual power in it, to keep people strong.
Wish you all the best
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